Sunday wanderings
domingo, 3 de agosto de 2008
Isolation.... Cut from the outside world....by option, or by necessity? Making some space around, letting few in, very few... And then, what's next? What's next when this time is over and reality strikes in again?
It's a strange world we're living in. I've come to realize that nothing is ever free, nothing is ever inocent. Nothing can be had, just like that, and let there to be...enjoying it but doing nothing to keep it going right. Things must be done, "work" must be done, and most of all, no dream must be taken for granted. Ever.
Not making so much sense, i know...
I've chosen to follow a certain path and now i'm not sure i can handle it...handle the consequences, handle the whole of it. Take what's there to be taken and let go when it's time to...cause there always comes a time when you have to let go...and that's the hardest part. That's the hardest part, along with being able to enjoy things at the time they're here to be enjoyed. Cause when it's gone, there's plenty of time to blame yourself, to mourn whatever there is to mourn. Plenty of time to think, to wonder, to analyse and whatsoever.
Bloody sunday and all that comes with it! God damn sunday and all its negative thinking, not even knowing why. It just strikes and there's nothing to be done except wait...wait for this numbness to be gone. It's a long day, always a really long day...a struggle, a deep and inner struggle...a secret kept. Only few can make it lighter and turn it into something good. And they're always the ones that are not around, God knows why....
It's not always easy to understand the options that we make. Though we're the ones to make them and though they may seem the right ones at the time, most of the time they sooner or later become some kind of regret...there's always something that should or could have been done diferently, always a criteria that was not taken into consideration or simply carefully avoided...and as the time goes by, it starts sharpening itself to become the one deepest hurt when times get rough...the one doubt, the one question coming back and back again, and turning everything else and life itself so bitter...
It's a shame one just can't ever be satisfied with what one has... And it hurts to think about it, to come to terms with reality and deal with it, accept it....
It's a strange world we're living in. I've come to realize that nothing is ever free, nothing is ever inocent. Nothing can be had, just like that, and let there to be...enjoying it but doing nothing to keep it going right. Things must be done, "work" must be done, and most of all, no dream must be taken for granted. Ever.
Not making so much sense, i know...
I've chosen to follow a certain path and now i'm not sure i can handle it...handle the consequences, handle the whole of it. Take what's there to be taken and let go when it's time to...cause there always comes a time when you have to let go...and that's the hardest part. That's the hardest part, along with being able to enjoy things at the time they're here to be enjoyed. Cause when it's gone, there's plenty of time to blame yourself, to mourn whatever there is to mourn. Plenty of time to think, to wonder, to analyse and whatsoever.
Bloody sunday and all that comes with it! God damn sunday and all its negative thinking, not even knowing why. It just strikes and there's nothing to be done except wait...wait for this numbness to be gone. It's a long day, always a really long day...a struggle, a deep and inner struggle...a secret kept. Only few can make it lighter and turn it into something good. And they're always the ones that are not around, God knows why....
It's not always easy to understand the options that we make. Though we're the ones to make them and though they may seem the right ones at the time, most of the time they sooner or later become some kind of regret...there's always something that should or could have been done diferently, always a criteria that was not taken into consideration or simply carefully avoided...and as the time goes by, it starts sharpening itself to become the one deepest hurt when times get rough...the one doubt, the one question coming back and back again, and turning everything else and life itself so bitter...
It's a shame one just can't ever be satisfied with what one has... And it hurts to think about it, to come to terms with reality and deal with it, accept it....
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